Quotes

Here are some memorable quotes gathered from various MPlayer and FFmpeg related discussions. Beware of what you say, because it will be recorded, taken out of context and ridiculed!

IRC Channels

#mplayerdev

<ods15>    btw, gcc took 900mb of ram and then segfaulted for me when i tried to compile a 30mb C file :P
<ods15>    that took about 20 minutes until it evantually gave out of mem error
<ods15>    i should probably just write my own compiler than can do it in 0.05s and no ram...
<ShadowJK> can tcc compile it :)
<ods15>    ShadowJK, heh i should've tried that
* ods15 just makes a sample file and tries now
<ods15>    ahem, it did it in like 3 seconds and no ram :P

<poirierg> great new ppl! I'm likely to get laid before linuxtag!
<poirierg> woops
<ods15>    ...
<poirierg> great new ppl! I'm likely to get laid out before linuxtag!
<dalias>   lol poirierg
<poirierg> budget cuts and stuff like that....
<dalias>   poirierg, oh
<dalias>   i read that as 'get laid'
<dalias>   and i was like wtf tmi
<ods15>    ja
<dalias>   the word is 'laid off' btw, not 'laid out'
<delewis>  haha.
<ods15>    so, wait, great?
<poirierg> okay, I'm getting laid off

<ods15> british is american with a sloppy accent, and much stupider curse words

<poirierg> cartman, you don't see smart girls if you only watch pr0n

<superdump> Welcome to ye Olde #mplayerdev Tavern. If yaoi 'n' free cola is what ye be lookin' far, we's got 'em! Yarr...

<dalias>    because you can't use x264
<superdump> why not?
<dalias>    because the decoder is slower than gabu trying to get a girlfriend

<dalias> h264 is like matroska
<dalias> yes mmatroska is better than avi but it sucks still
<dalias> hes h264 compresses better than mpeg4 but it sucks still
<dalias> and the question is: is 15% compression gain worth 500% performance drop?

<poirierg> do you know the difference between God and dalias ? ;)
<dalias>   god only tells you what's bad to do when you inhale from a burning bush
<dalias>   dalias tells you what's bad all the time

<reynaldo> i was once atacked by one of those beast
<reynaldo> i was 4 years old iirc
<reynaldo> those birds have almost 4 meters measured from the extremes of their wings
<reynaldo> i have some stories you wouldnt believe :P
<reynaldo> i dont remember meeting any chilean atacked by a condor besides me
<reynaldo> :P
<reynaldo> i was once biten by a black widow too :P extremely hard to find spider
<reynaldo> nature has been trying to kill me since the day i born!
<reynaldo> :P
<iive>     i though condors doesn't attack humans.
<reynaldo> they dont
<reynaldo> thats the weirdest part
<reynaldo> :P
<iive>     well, then there is only one explanetion. you are not human.
* iive runs
<reynaldo> :P
<reynaldo> who knows
<reynaldo> maybe the karaoke filter is just the begining of my world domination plan

<reynaldo> why dont you work with me improving the filter then ?
<poirierg> reynaldo, because I don't want to steel the paternity of your little toy
<reynaldo> thats not my boy
<reynaldo> everyone an his girlfriend facing the same problem solved it the same wahy
<reynaldo> we can make something neater
<reynaldo> :)
<poirierg> your are calling me to become the girlfriend of you audio filter?

<ods15> i'm waiting for someone to send me brains tommorrow, not much to do until then

<snacky> h264-in-mpeg is standardized since 2003. if hd-dvd does it differently it's because they're stupid ;)
<iive> they do. thay are

<KotH> Rathann: some nice quotes you have there :)
<Rathann> I know! ^_^
<Rathann> I've been collecting them for months
<KotH> and some i dont even remember typing ^^'
<Rathann> ^_^v
<Rathann> hehe
<Rathann> it's good to have logs

<phcoder> compiling svn:
<phcoder> allcodecs.c: In function 'avcodec_register_all':
<phcoder> allcodecs.c:67: error: 'ENABLE_DCA_DECODER' undeclared (first use in this function)
<phcoder> allcodecs.c:67: error: (Each undeclared identifier is reported only once
<phcoder> allcodecs.c:67: error: for each function it appears in.)
<phcoder> allcodecs.c:253: error: 'ENABLE_DCA_PARSER' undeclared (first use in this function)
<phcoder> Sorry forgot to configure
<KotH> dont forget make distclean
<Rathann> don't forget to use your brain

<DonDiego> geez
<DonDiego> how many mistakes can you make in a single line of shell ..
<KotH> one per character
<DonDiego> i'm quite close ;)
<DonDiego> sundays after parties are not the best days for programming ;)

<cartman> <poirierg> cartman, you don't see smart girls if you only watch pr0n
<dalias> :)
<cartman> this is all I get for reporting quality pr0n bugs
<dalias> cartman, it's what you get for making statements about girls being stupid
<cartman> dalias: girls are stupid anyway

<ShadowJK> "I have to agree with Rich's supposed opinion here.  It is beyond mad."
<ShadowJK> dalias, you've become quite efficient at flamewars, when you don't even need to participate anymore, people just assume what you were going to say :)

<iive> btw does somebody know a way to get the xvid bitstream syntax number
<iive> the number that xvid put to identify what bugs they had when encoding it.
<Rathann> rtfs?
<iive> i ask if somebody knows
<iive> this is if nobody knows
<iive> fucker
<rxt> hehe, nothing changed on mplayer while I was away :)

#mplayer

* KotH wants a point and click solution... w/o the click

<Micksa> I'm reading about motion compensation
<Micksa> some of this is serious voodoo
<Micksa> I love it :)

<dtm> you're a free software pimp, Commn

<Jan_> mplayer has a number of command line options that is large enough to overflow a 32-bit variable.

<iive> Commn: yeh.. usa people usually have problem with foregin languages like british, australian or canadian. :)

<CarlFK> how many gig is an hour of raw DV ?
<DogBoy> like from a porno?
<CarlFK> right
<DogBoy> just how raw are we talking
<CarlFK> right from the cam corder's firewire

<dtm> Commn: i read all of your wiki page and you forgot the final entry for "and seek professional help immediately
      for the mental illness that either 1) made you want to follow all these steps for lazy, codependent fools on irc
      or   2) that you WILL HAVE after faithfully trying to implement all these steps for a week"
<dtm> http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/gaaallllgh.jpg    that big dog is the cumulative laziness of a lot
      of irc users   the medium sized cat is Commn     and the one watching, frozen in horror, is me
<dtm> now is that a normal response for a cat who has a self preservation instinct?  i think not.
<dtm> HE LIKES IT!
<Commn> dtm : haha how long did it take to find that picture?
<dtm> Commn: somebody gave it to me and i kept it in a firefox tab all week coz it's so awesome coz
      I KNEW IT WOULD HAVE A GREAT PURPOSE
<dtm> Commn: since you asked for feedback, i'll say that you're extraordinarily diligent and conscientious, and
      the minority of that content is directly relevant to mplayer, and the majority is relevant to a "how to ask
      questions the smart way" type of document if not being totally redundant thereof
<dtm> you are a gentleman and a scholar, and true patriot
<sacarasc> dtm is cute when he is adoring someone
<Commn> dtm : yes, its a modified 'how to ask questions' docu
<Commn> its lame tho
<Commn> i might delete it 
<Rathann> dtm is such a clear case of user-support-induced insanity that I wonder why I am still sane sometimes...

<pianoboy3333> how long does mplayer take to compile?
<dtm> how long til the Point of Know Return?
<pianoboy3333> ...
<dtm> i'm sorry, was that question not as dumb as yours?  oh well i tried!
<dtm> <3
<iive> dtm: you are starting to sound like me.
<dtm> Hmmmm.
* dtm commits honorable ninja suicide

<Erb> Does anyone know how to launch the GUI MPlayer in Linux via PHP (in Firefox)? I can run MPlayer scripts
      in the background fine. I only need to do this for local videos for an application I'm building.
* dtm throws his brain into a blender in an attempt to comprehend Erb's question but fails sadly

<dtm> tell me what i want to know, and nobody gets hurst.
<dtm> hurt.
<Rathann> o_O
<dtm> i'm feeling like the giant cactus wants to be plastered in ascii screenshots
<dtm> I MUST COMPLY
<dtm> HELP ME DO THIS, Rathann

<DazBrum> what is the channel for developers
<--     DazBrum has quit ()
<dtm> lols
<dtm> i think i'll spare them from that

<netstat> how come mplayer eating memory
<netstat> it uses up to 90% cpu
<dtm> must be a good movie

<dtm> what could be the ramifications of an angry, tiny horde, mashing out ascii art TWENTY FOUR / SEVEN?!
      it's too terrifying to contemplate.  I SCARCELY DARE UTTER A WORD!
<Rathann> oh, it's dtm again
<dtm> lallaa  hm i want ramen
<dtm> Rathann: oh.  why..... Hello, there.
<Rathann> how are you toninght?
<Rathann> *tonight
<dtm> Rathann: your mencoder is broken and apparently is bigoted against mpeg1 and decent bitrates
      and it's made me quite unhappy THANK YOU VERY MUCH
<Rathann> it's not mine :P
<Rathann> I never even touched the code
<dtm> Rathann: OH SOMEONE WILL TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THIS MONSTROSITY
<dtm> don't you try to pass the buck to its mere so-called "authors"
* Rathann grabs iive and throws him to the lion^W^Wdtm
<Hymie> my cat's breath smells like cat food
<dtm> it regularly goes all huge with macroblocks and ShadowJK told me that the stuff that determines
      the bitrate is probably starving the bitrate at every GOP and he's probably somehow trying to trick
      and deceive me and is in leagues with the Hymie somehow
<dtm> Hymie: YOU CANNOT WIN!!!!   Y O U     C A N N O T    H A V E    M E ! !!!
<Hymie> dtm: ?
<Hymie> what's going on here?
<dtm> DON'T you look at me with your feeble question marks
<dtm> your crazy canadian punctuation cannot hide your heart
<dtm> er wait hang on
<dtm> that woulda maybe sounded better if i said
<dtm> your diabolical foreign puncturation cannot hide your crazy canadian heart
<dtm> there
<dtm> Rathann: so what do you think about that
<dtm> Rathann: also i propose that the mplayer team devote resources to the recruiting of women
<dtm> Rathann: who may be more sensitive to the diverse needs of the needy few
<dtm> free software means JUSTICE
<Rathann> Hymie: ignore, dtm is off his meds again
<Rathann> dtm: it's a JUNGLE out here
* dtm bribes Rathann with a bag of premium hair
<Rathann> better software wins
<Rathann> no justice
<defaultro> so you think guys it's not an mplayer issue? 
<dtm> is this not the currency of choice in whatever foreign world you live in
<defaultro> i've been having problems figuring it out but don't know what's wrong
<dtm> Rathann: compassion!!  compassion rules!!!!!
* Rathann sets mode +m on dtm
<sacarasc> hohoho
<dtm> Rathann: have you no feedback on my quantizer-starved plight?
* Rathann doesn't know anything
<dtm> Rathann: you know.. i've always looked to you as the moral compass of my encoding efforts.
<dtm> i...... just wanted you to know that.
<Rathann> ewww
<Rathann> dtm: I'm not really here
<Rathann> I'm just a figment of your imagination
<dtm> it only does the macroblock bursting on certain scenes apparently, but stil pretty regularly.
<dtm> i mean it's not doing it all the time but when it does it, it's once a second (GOP of 24, at 24001/1001 fps)
<iive> Rathann: you want me to ban dtm?
<Rathann> why?
<dtm> because iive is a child who can't communicate without senseless retalliation.
<Ave> yes indeed, why
<Rathann> iive: we don't ban people just because they're insane
<dtm> holy crap it's Ave 
<iive> Rathann: then don't flash me with dtm line in it.
<Rathann> ...
<dtm> ...
<dtm> EPARSE
<Rathann> iive seems to be not in the mood

<cappicard> o/~ Ich versteh euch nicht! o/~
<dtm> i'm sorry cappicard i dont speak satanic
<cappicard> LOL
<cappicard> it's just German
<dtm> yeah but not when they're singing it.
<cappicard> heh :)
<iive> cappicard: isn't it the same

<gioele> How come that I get a 35 minutes MP3 from a 5 minutes FLV video with -dumpaudio?
<Compn> aliens beaming audio into your mp3
<spuck00> ^^
<gioele> Compn: time to call SETI?
<Compn> yep
<Compn> if the aliens are peaceful, say hello
<Compn> if they are aggressive, look out!

* richard___ wonders why so many people join this channel for no apparent purpose
<rsk> they share the love of mplayer ;-(
<sacarasc> i have a purpose
<richard___> I wasn't implying that there's anything wrong with it :)

<rms> please tell me how to use dd_rescue
<KotH> RTFM
<rms> and what  special will it do, except regular copy?
<KotH> RTFM
<rms> RTFM?
<KotH> the manual says everything oyu need to know
<KotH> read the fucking manual
<rms> oh ok

<iive> -dumpvideo
<LinuxCart> umm, that's a good idea. i'll try that.
<LinuxCart> thank you iive
<KotH> LinuxCart: if in doubt, it's iive's fault ;)

<LinuxCart> how could this be explained?
<iive> it just another of dv misteries
<iive> it's KotH fault.

<LinuxMafia> how can i turn on language and sub
<KotH> RTFM
<LinuxMafia> KotH, using debian or freebsd?
<KotH> LinuxCart: doesnt matter, the FM is OS idenpedent
<LinuxCart>  KotH: is RTFM some dialect to say it's iive fault :P

<ChaosR> MPlayer 1.0rc1-4.1.2-DFSG-free <- my version
<ChaosR> is it out of date
<mjunx> of course
<mjunx> if it wasn't built like within an hour ago at any given time, it's usually out of date

<Fatsobob> trying to get mplayer to play win32 on ubuntu makes me want to shoot myself
<Fatsobob> mostly because ubuntu is all "totem this" and "totem that"

<Quintin> Is there any reason to use opengl vo device?
<sacarasc> nope
<Quintin> what's it there for?
<sacarasc> because you might want to use it...
...
<reimar> sacarasc: is there any reason why I should think what you just said makes sense? ;-)
<sacarasc> reason and what people want are not always the same

<Commn> iive : dont call mplayer users dumb
<Commn> not to their faces anyhow

<Agiofws> has anyone tried cinerella ?
<Agiofws> i think it great 
<Kunalagon> I tried , and I thin 80 % does not work
<MisT_> never get compiled here
<Kunalagon> it has more bugs than my shelter

<voltagex> ArneB: at one stage I was able to do the maths to crack CSS on paper :P
<ArneB> There might be extra trouble with MPEG2 decoding in areas where software patents are allowed.
<ArneB> voltagex: Obviously your mind and paper are illegal.
<ArneB> Better hand them over to the MPAA.
<voltagex> I think you could sneeze and accidentally crack CSS
<voltagex> yep
<voltagex> no more pencils

Mailing lists

mplayer-cvslog

> btw, anyone has a copy of the ISO-english spec? ;)

Ok. :)

1. There isn't a spec, since the language hasn't been standardized. All
we have are numerous competing drafts written by independent,
non-authoritative organizations.

2. A large amount of existing English code, such as Shakespeare, is
unparseable by modern English speakers.

3. If an element of the language has been frequently misused over a long
enough period of time, such misuse often becomes acceptable.

4. An English speaker can be considered reasonably feature-complete even
if such speaker only recognizes a small subset of the language.

5. Certain keywords tend to cause internal compiler errors. Such
keywords are known as "profanity", and existing English speakers weakly
attempt to prevent recently-written speakers from being aware of them.

6. English is a highly context dependent. Many keywords, when used in
their own particular context, take on an entirely illogical meaning.
These "idioms" cause compilation errors, especially when an old speaker
is attempting to communicate with a new one.

7. ....

I could go on, but that's enough fun for now. :)
-- Michael Niedermayer and Corey Hickey in mplayer-cvslog at mplayerhq.hu

mplayer-dev-eng

Without a frontend, mplayer is useless.
-- Jean-Philippe Guillemin in mplayer-dev-eng at mplayerhq.hu

mplayer-users

> > yes, video decoding is not perfect either so even if u decode the bitstream u 
> > loose quality (idct inaccuracies and such) so u should really use a hexeditor 
> > instead of mplayer to view ur movies
>
> Perhaps we could rewrite xmatrix so it takes its input from AVI
> files...

"Do you always look at it encoded?"

"Well ya have to. The video codecs work FOR the construct program. But
there's way too much information to decode this DIVX. You get used to
it -- I don't even see the code. All I see is blonde, brunette,
redhead..."
-- Michael Niedermayer, Moritz Bunkus and D Richard Felker III in mplayer-users at mplayerhq.hu

>>> Is there any possibility to convert a Ream Media video stream to
>>> ogg/theora video?
>>
>> no, ogg is banned for good from the list of possible outputs for
>> manifest insanity
>
> Thank you for your answer, but can you be more specific?

ogg is by far the most insane mux format ever conceived,
thus no conscious coder wants to permit to give birth to an abomination
like that
-- Marek Mahut and Nico Sabbi in mplayer users at mplayerhq.hu

> > > 1. ok, true, I wanted to say mad TAG right ?  How can I get this
> > > to MP3 tag ?
> >
> > There is no such thing as a MAD tag.  MAD only plays MP1/MP2/MP3. 
> > Your file has to have one of those as the audio track for MAD to be
> > able to play it at all.  You also didn't read the rest of my post.
>
> MAD audio codec then ?

...

I'd love to help, but I have to go bang my head against that wall over
there...
-- wim delvaux and RC in mplayer-users at mplayerhq.hu

ffmpeg-cvslog

>> I'm sure Michael knows how to capitalize and punctuate at
>> least a little bit.
> thats defamation, ive never capitalized and punktuated correctly
> besides that i dont like pure capitalism ;)
I NEVER ASKED YOU TO WRITE LIKE THIS.
-- Måns Rullgård and Michael Niedermayer in ffmpeg-cvslog at mplayerhq.hu

ffmpeg-devel

> All right, new screening process for prospective FFmpeg contributors:
> "Are you now, or have you ever been, a Microsoft Visual C++ user?"
> There's going to be scandal when the oversight committee investigates my
> employment history.
If you used msvc on your day job it doesn't count, as long as you really hated it.
-- Mike Melanson and Måns Rullgård in ffmpeg-devel at mplayerhq.hu

> patching file configure
> Hunk #1 FAILED at 914.
> 1 out of 1 hunk FAILED -- saving rejects to file configure.rej
Ah, yes, the swift evolution of ffmpeg made the patch obsolete in 24h.
-- Måns Rullgård and Víctor Paesa in ffmpeg-devel at mplayerhq.hu

[about the lack of "chained ogg" support]
I'm aware of this problem, and I've been trying to think of a
solution.  The more I think about it, the more it appears as an
abomination.  Just like everything Ogg related.  No surprises there.
-- Måns Rullgård in ffmpeg-devel at mplayerhq.hu

not everything from OO is necessarily bad, like not everything from M$
is necessarily bad, if later where the case M$ would gone bankrupt long
ago ...
but thats geting deeply off topic, lets rather concentrate on flames and
insults  ...
-- Michael Niedermayer in ffmpeg-devel at mplayerhq.hu

[Marco Gerards submits a THP demuxer]
Coooool. I have hundreds of THP files. I will find some that have sound
and get them posted soon. In the meantime, Niedermayer will be along
shortly to tear apart your patch. Good luck! :)
-- Mike Melanson in ffmpeg-devel at mplayerhq.hu

[about SwScaler rewrite]
> > And then we can call an architecture dependent init function that can
> > overide the C behavior much like is done for the dsputils.
> I was thinking about that too
thinking is good patch is better ...
-- Marc Hoffman, Luca Barbato and Michael Niedermayer in ffmpeg-devel at mplayerhq.hu

other

i've remembered i have root access at new mphq, but probably
it was just a dream :)))
-- A'rpi